October 06, 2017
Whether it’s a milestone in a new relationship or a one-time fling, sleeping over at a romantic partner’s house can be fun, yet daunting.
If you’re having some anxiety about how to be a good houseguest at an “adult sleepover,” first, know that it’s a good sign–it means you’re considerate, which is an asset in any interpersonal relationship. Then, check out our great list of dos and don’ts when spending the night at a partner’s house for the first time. A good rule of thumb is essentially the Golden Rule: think of how you’d want someone to behave in your own home, and act accordingly.
Don’t make big assumptions. Don’t assume you’ll be sleeping over until invited, and don’t assume the person wants you to hang around the entire next day unless that’s been made clear.
Do practice open communication. Just as sexual consent is important, it’s also crucial to respect one another’s personal space and feelings. If you need to leave early the next day, be upfront about it.
Do respect sleep time. Once the intimacy is over and it’s clear your partner is ready for sleep, give them their space (and get some sleep yourself).
Do clean up after yourself. Even if your partner is kind of a slob, avoid littering his or her floor with your clothes.
Don’t use their toothbrush or clothes without asking. Sure, you may be swapping germs in other ways, but most people are pretty territorial about their stuff. If the sleepover was a last-minute event, consider running out to a convenience store to buy your own toothbrush.
Don’t hog the bed or covers. If you get cold, ask for an extra blanket. Being a bed hog is a pretty good way to ensure you don’t get invited back.
Don’t snoop through his or her things. While it can be incredibly tempting to find out more about the person, especially if this is the start of a new relationship, it’s disrespectful, and if you got caught, it would probably bring the relationship to a screeching halt.
Do make plans for breakfast so you don’t have to worry about going hungry or find yourself raiding their pantry the next morning.
Do be considerate of roommates. In most cases, they don’t want to hear their housemate’s nocturnal shenanigans.
Do be kind to their pets! Even if you don’t really like animals (weirdo), remember that the pets live there and you don’t.
Being a considerate houseguest is a great way to start a new relationship off on the right foot. It shows that you’re thoughtful and respectful. In any relationship, habits that annoy your partner (and vice versa) will eventually rear their ugly head, but if they show up at the first sleepover, it can be a big red flag that this relationship isn’t going anywhere good.
Do you have any first-time sleepover tips (or horror stories)? Share in the comments!